Mental Health | Men's Fitness https://mensfitness.co.uk/health/mental-health/ Expert-led workouts, equipment tests, and top advice - Get Fit for Life Thu, 13 Jun 2024 17:56:24 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.4.5 https://mensfitness.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2023/02/MF-desktop_favicon_32-1.png?w=32 Mental Health | Men's Fitness https://mensfitness.co.uk/health/mental-health/ 32 32 203719811 Six Hormones All Men Need To Harness To Boost Happiness https://mensfitness.co.uk/health/mental-health/hormones-to-boost-happiness/ Thu, 23 May 2024 09:45:04 +0000 https://mensfitness.co.uk/?p=28899 Life coach David Phillips beat depression and found happiness by hacking his neurochemicals – here’s how you can do the same

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Life coach David Phillips beat depression and found happiness by hacking his neurochemicals and boosting key hormones – here’s how you can do the same.

David Phillips had everything going for him. A successful coach, author and public speaker with major international clients such as Google, Microsoft, Dell, Oracle and HP. He was happily married with three kids. 

Then, suddenly, in 2016, enormous work stress took its toll, and he succumbed to deep depression, confining himself to bed for two months, wishing he could sleep forever. “I realised I didn’t love anything or enjoy anything,” he tells MF. “I couldn’t relate to what people said in movies or the way my friends saw the world.”

Phillips’ depression became so bad that he felt suicidal. “That was constantly on my mind,” admits the 47-year-old. “How to [commit suicide]; when to; where to? But I never had the courage to do it.” He describes his state of mind back then as being one out of ten, where ten is “the happiest person on Earth and one was darkness.”

Encouraged by his wife, Phillips began researching ways to find happiness again. “I became obsessed by the idea of happiness,” he says. He struck upon an ingenious method that involves harnessing the power of the mind and optimising the body’s factory of neurochemicals. He calls this ‘self-leadership’: learning to choose your own emotions and your own mental states whenever you wish to.

His method completely turned his life and mental state around. Now, on that same one-to-ten scale, he says he quite often reaches ten and, on a bad day, drops down only to six. “I’m so far away from being down at one,” he says. “I’m not even close to it.”

Wishing to help others tune into his method, this year Phillips published a book, High on Life, which pinpoints the six hormones holding the key to happiness: dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin, cortisol, endorphins and testosterone. Just as recreational drugs increase the occurrence of these hormones in our brain, Phillips has developed a way to boost these naturally and harmlessly. 

He encourages us to view our emotions as mostly temporary ideas that we have about ourselves and the world around us. He says we are able to choose these emotions ourselves by manipulating these hormones – essentially by tricking our brain to produce more or less of them, as required.

Emotions are primarily produced, he says, by substances called neuromodulators which push specific neurons in different directions. In turn, this process produces our experiences of having different emotions. There are around 50 different hormones and a hundred or so neurotransmitters functioning in the human body. The six hormones he has pinpointed are the ones he considers most easily manipulated, and which produce immediately noticeable effects. 

Happy brain concept
happy brain, healthy brain, mental health, example of good mental health, brain, mental education, brain representation, self well-being, inner well-being

DOPAMINE

“Dopamine produces motivation, momentum, desire and pleasure, as well as playing an important role in our acquisition of long-term memories,” Phillips explains. It will make you feel like “a rampant wild horse jubilantly greeting the coming spring”.

However, there are two types of dopamine: fast dopamine, which lasts a short time, and slow dopamine, which lasts a long time. Fast dopamine is created by easily accessible activities such as eating chocolate and junk food, playing video games, watching trash TV and scrolling through social media – giving you a rapid high and then a crash back down to reality. 

Slow dopamine, on the other hand, requires more energy to achieve, but ultimately benefits you in the long-term. You achieve it through activities requiring more physical and mental energy such as reading books, watching educational films, solving puzzles, socialising, physical exercise – beginners should check out the best resistance band exercises – and sex.

The differences between fast and slow dopamine are similar to those between fast and slow carbohydrates: the former give you a rapid energy boost followed by a crash, while the latter give you long-lasting energy.

“The brain is wired to receive dopamine,” Phillips says, explaining how our prehistoric ancestors needed it as an incentive to hunt animals, forage for food, build homes and reproduce. 

“It was a reward for growth,” he adds. “But now that’s been hijacked because you can just sit with your smartphone and get the same kind of dopamine injections that a person got 30,000 years ago. The trouble with that is, scrolling through your phone requires no energy at all. The brain is energy-saving by nature, so the brain says, ‘I can get equal amounts of dopamine from looking at social media as I would get going to the gym, but it’s much easier. Give me as much dopamine as possible with the least amount of energy required. That’s the best equation – that’s why you get hooked on fast dopamine.”

Phillips admits he’s just as susceptible to fast dopamine as everyone else. However, he controls it by trying to use his mobile phone less, by switching off the notifications on his phone, and by watching TV series over several weeks rather than binge-watching them. And he tries to concentrate on enjoying hard work rather than thinking only of the reward he will give himself once he has completed that hard work.

OXYTOCIN

This is the hormone that allows us to feel presence, completeness, trust, compassion, connectedness and generosity. Phillips pinpoints multiple ways in which we can boost oxytocin. There is the awe we feel when we experience nature, art or music. Activities such as hiking through a forest, or attending a rock concert or a political rally all work their magic.

Then there’s the empathy we feel when we think of our loved ones. Physical closeness to other people, through touching, hugging and holding hands, is vital too. “A lack pf connection with other human beings has severe impacts on our mental health,” he adds. “We saw that during Covid, for instance.”

Phillips champions a traditional Hawaiian form of healing called ‘Ho’oponopono’, which neutralises guilt through reconciliation and forgiveness. ‘It involves uttering the following four incredible phrases,’ Phillips writes in his book. ‘I love you; I am sorry, please forgive me; thank you.’

Other ways to boost oxytocin include soothing music, a hot bath, a cold swim, and expressing gratitude.

SEROTONIN

Serotonin helps us feel contendedness, self-esteem and harmony. According to Phillips, ways to boost it include learning to love oneself, to stop criticising oneself for mistakes, and to be less judgemental. Sunlight is crucial for maintaining serotonin levels, which is why some people suffer from seasonal affective disorder during the winter months. Fast food decreases serotonin levels, while slow carbohydrates can increase them.

Mindfulness is important, too. Phillips encourages us to enjoy our sensations of hearing, touch, sight, smell and taste. And of course, exercise, sleep and stress avoidance all contribute too.

CORTISOL

Under stressful situations, the body’s adrenal glands release cortisol into the bloodstream, releasing glucose and giving you the energy to deal with the stress, and acting as short-term anti-inflammatory. Phillips says limited amounts of stress make us feel alive. Conversely, chronic stress is extremely bad for our health. For that reason, of all six of Phillips’s hormones, cortisol is the one we need to limit rather than boost.

To do this, Phillips encourages us to write down a list of all the stressors in our lives, with the aim of eliminating or resolving them if possible.

If you feel wracked by nerves in stressful situations – public speaking for example – try to trick your mind into feeling it is excited rather than nerve-wracked. Other ways to reduce stress include meditation and controlled breathing, as well as all the methods for increasing oxytocin – since it is this hormone which provides powerful stress relief. 

Exercise is vital, too. “But, when it comes to exercise, the most important thing is to do whatever works for you,” he adds, “because that’s way better than not doing exercise at all. If consistent exercise isn’t to your taste, then go excessive.”

He adds one word of caution: “The only time you shouldn’t go excessive is if you have high stress levels, because excessive exercise increases stress. If you’re nearing being burned out, do not excessively work out because you will accelerate the burnout.”

ENDORPHINS

“Endorphins are the body’s home-grown morphine,” Phillips says, explaining how they make you feel “high on life”. Pain is one quick way to experience this hormone and, indeed, if you stub your toe or bang your head, a few seconds later you’ll notice a near-euphoric feeling as your body produces endorphins. Phillips explains how it’s the same euphoria you get after the pain of cold-water bathing, or getting in an ice bath (like The Edge Tub Elite).

Other endorphin-producing activities include eating spicy food or chocolate, exercise, music, dancing, laughter and smiling. Of the latter, he stresses how you need to achieve what’s known as the ‘Duchenne smile’. Named after the French neurologist Guillaume Duchenne, this type of smile engages the muscles around the eyes as well as around the corners of the mouth. 

TESTOSTERONE

Testosterone is the hormone that amplifies behaviours you may already employ to improve your social status. So, if you use humour, or generosity, or creativity to heighten your social status, testosterone will make you funnier, more generous or more creative. 

Phillips pinpoints several ways we can increase our testosterone naturally. These include winning at sport or games, listening to loud music, and watching movies whose protagonists we can relate to. 

Testosterone can hugely improve your performance in job interviews, work presentations, negotiations and social situations. You can use aggression to boost it. ‘One trick for using aggression to raise your testosterone can be to go to the bathroom before an important meeting and think aggressive thoughts, ideally complementing those with menacing body language and intense music,’ Phillips writes in his book. ‘If nobody will hear me, I’ll often yell aggressively while doing that, in order to maximise the temporary aggression and boost my testosterone even more.’ However, he also warns that uncontrolled aggression can lead to problems.

When it comes to work presentations or public speaking, you can also use body control to increase testosterone and confidence. Phillips adds: “Hold your head up high, plant your feet parallel to each other, use your hands rather than allowing them to lock up, avoid swaying or twisting your hips, train yourself to eliminate filler noises from your speech, and speak up loud and clear.”

Eight years on from his spiral into depression, David Phillips is now a changed man. He hopes his methods of naturally harnessing the power of these six hormones will help countless others. In the old days he believed that success meant working hard for long hours, in order to amass wealth and own lots of things.

‘That’s absolute bullshit,’ he concludes at the end of his book. ‘Success is becoming the best version of yourself. It’s choosing actions and thoughts that help you feel good about yourself. When you’ve attained that state, there’s nothing you can’t achieve.’

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Sensate Review: Effective Meditation But Hard To Justify The Price https://mensfitness.co.uk/review/sensate/ Thu, 25 Apr 2024 11:00:00 +0000 https://mensfitness.co.uk/?p=9005 Sensate is the portable meditation device and accompanying app designed to calm the mind

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Sensate is a portable meditation device and app that uses a combo of vibration and relaxing soundscapes to calm the mind.

If you struggle with traditional cross-legged ‘Om’ meditation, Sensate was designed with you in mind. A palm-sized device that sits on your chest, it works in tandem with relaxing app-based music to create a sense of deep relaxation. All you need to do is recline and zone out. Or combine Sensate with the best stretching exercises for a calm body and mind.

How does Sensate work?

The science is something like this… Low-frequency vibrations – the strength of which are adjustable on the app – target the vagus nerve (responsible for the gut and internal organ functions), to reduce the physical symptoms of stress.

These vibrations mirror the highs and lows of the instrumental soundscapes of the app. Then, the result is a genuinely immersive and highly relaxing experience.

Ten minutes before bed achieves the desired calming effect. However, it’s difficult to know how much of that is down to the vibrating device, the meditative music, or the simple fact you’re taking ten to do nothing at all. The likely answer, of course, is a combination of all three. Plus, Sensate does make it easy to reach a stress-less state.

Our only question is: why does it cost so much?

Man relaxing with Sensate device

Is it worth the money?

As well as the intended dual use, we experimented by using just the device (no music) and just the music, and found the main benefit was provided by the latter.

Prolonged use may well, as the makers claim, strengthen the parasymphetic nervous system and ‘improve resilience to stress over time’, but the most tangible short-term relief was more a result of the relaxing sounds than the expensive thing buzzing away on the sternum.

That said, while anyone who already has their mind-clearing practices in place probably won’t feel the need for it, if you’re in need of some headspace, and can afford the pricetag, there’s no doubt Sensate takes you to a place of calm.

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The R.A.I.S.E. Campaign To Highlight The Benefits Of Therapy https://mensfitness.co.uk/health/mental-health/raise-campaign/ Thu, 01 Feb 2024 09:00:00 +0000 https://mensfitness.co.uk/?p=21518 A new campaign from the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP) aims to give a better understanding of male depression and highlight the benefits of therapy

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This article was paid for by the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy

A new campaign from the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP) aims to give a better understanding of male depression and highlight the benefits of therapy

To address ever-growing concerns around men’s mental health, the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP) has launched an innovative campaign called R.A.I.S.E. as part of Men’s Health Awareness Month.

R.A.I.S.E. is designed to help men, and their loved ones, recognise often subtle signs of depression. It also aims to promote the benefits of seeking professional support from a therapist.

Rise in depression in men

Recent data from a BACP survey of over 3,000 therapists has revealed that 52% of practitioners witnessed a surge in men seeking help for depression over the past year. Yet, the survey also highlighted a concerning statistic: 56% of therapists agreed that men are less likely to seek mental health support than women. A reluctance to seek help may be down to stigma and old-fashioned bravado among those of us who don’t want to admit to needing support when it comes to mental health issues.

“Depression in men often gets overlooked, as men tend to live with their struggles silently,” says Anthony Davis, a BACP therapist and contributor to the R.A.I.S.E. campaign. “Their symptoms can also manifest in different ways than their loved ones would expect, meaning they can sometimes go unnoticed or unaddressed.”

For Dan Reid, a 37-year-old youth worker from Shropshire, a battle against anxiety and depression stems from his university days. But after the birth of his daughter in 2016, his mental health issues worsened, leading to a work breakdown and two months’ leave. Therapy from a BACP-registered professional, however, transformed his life, enabling emotional control and self-worth. 

“It can be hard to have an open and honest conversation with someone who is emotionally invested, like a family member or partner,” says Dan. “That’s why I think therapy works and why it worked so well for me. A lot of men are scared to go to therapy and open up, but taking that step can change a life.”

Dan now runs the Men Walking and Talking group, promoting therapy’s benefits and providing a space for men to share their struggles.

Spot the signs

Symptoms of depression can manifest differently in men. Indeed, half of the therapists in the survey noted that men can exhibit less common signs of depression, making it challenging to identify their struggles.

Andy Middle, a 44-year-old military veteran from Shrewsbury, faced depression from his service in Bosnia at 18. Traumatic experiences affected him, but limited support for service members made seeking help challenging.

Thankfully, after acting upon the symptoms and having a confirmed diagnosis of depression, Andy began to work with a psychotherapist to manage PTSD and depression. Now a chef, he finds solace in fishing, and acting as a leader in the Men Walking and Talking group.

To bridge the mental health gap and help men spot the signs of mental ill-health, BACP has introduced the R.A.I.S.E. apronym, which highlights key indicators of male depression:

Risk-taking

Men often engage in riskier behaviour when dealing with depression, seeking an adrenaline rush to escape their emotional turmoil.

Anger 

Outbursts of anger, irritability, and hostility can be telltale signs of depression in men.

Isolation

Men may withdraw from social interactions, isolating themselves as they grapple with depression.

Substance abuse 

Self-medicating through alcohol or drug use is a common coping mechanism among men experiencing depression.

Exhaustion 

Persistent fatigue and a lack of energy are hallmark signs of male depression.

BACP booklet poster

To further support and empower men in their journey to seek professional help, BACP therapists have contributed to an online booklet (bacp.co.uk/raise). This resource delves into the nuances of depression symptoms, explores how they manifest, and offers practical tips on managing them – including how to find a therapist from a PSA accredited register, such as BACP’s.

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7 Ways To Set Achievable Goals For 2024 & Beyond https://mensfitness.co.uk/health/mental-health/7-ways-to-set-achievable-goals/ Sun, 14 Jan 2024 16:47:00 +0000 https://mensfitness.co.uk/?p=7802 We spoke to leading therapists and psychologists to find out how to follow a healthy, successful approach to goal setting

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“How I Turned My Life Around – And How You Can Do The Same” https://mensfitness.co.uk/health/mental-health/how-i-turned-my-life-around/ Fri, 01 Sep 2023 08:00:52 +0000 https://mensfitness.co.uk/?p=19883 Rage Fitness founder Craig Brown on his mental and physical transformation

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Rage Fitness founder Craig Brown on his mental and physical transformation…

Homeless. Drug addict. I thought this was my fate, and there was only one way out: suicide.

This was my existence up to 2015. Since then, I have been on a journey (to say the least) and my life has radically changed. My name is Craig Brown, and I am now the founder and owner of Rage Fitness Wellbeing Group. My organisation’s mission and ambition are simple:

To improve lives and make a difference for people in the place I once was

I set out to create a company to help people that found themselves in situations and life similar to mine, and just didn’t know where to turn for support.

Mindset = opportunity

Prior to 2015, I was weak when It came to social occasions, I was weak with work, I was weak with my standards, I was weak with how I acted, thought and lived. Overall, I didn’t love myself enough to act strong.

If you’re honest with yourself, in any part of your life, are you weak?

Are you weak in your relationship? (Do you make an effort with your partner?)

Are you weak at work? (Just coasting?)

Are you weak physically or mentally? (Complaining 80% of the time, not doing anything about it and not exercising?)

I truly believe to be at our best we must treat and see our mindset as an opportunity for success, whatever that looks like to you.

When I was in the depths of despair, I saw my mindset as a hindrance, as something attacking me, I wasn’t in control, until I decided to take control.

Raise your standards

To create a mindset which creates opportunity – in my case, survival – we must raise our standards.

I could have very easily remained a drug addict, I could have very easily remained homeless, but I didn’t. I dusted myself off, took a long hard look at myself and identified where my weaknesses were. I came to the realisation that I didn’t have a standard for anything and set out on a mission to change all the above.

If I can improve, so can you.

Check out Rage Fitness’ Wellbeing Academy

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How The Cost Of Living Crisis Affects Mental Health https://mensfitness.co.uk/health/mental-health/cost-of-living-crisis/ Wed, 18 Jan 2023 13:00:28 +0000 https://mensfitness.co.uk/?p=14570 Keith Prance, founder of Rehab Recovery, explains the mental health price of the current cost of living crisis...

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Keith Prance, founder of Rehab Recovery, has produced the following infographic to explain the mental health price of the UK’s current cost of living crisis…

First, an explainer: the cost of living crisis refers to the increase in the cost of essentials, such as food, energy, electricity and fuel as a result of inflation rates.

Inflation rates are higher than they’ve been for 40 years, and that increase has a severe impact on households across the UK.

One less obvious impact is on obesity. People with financial issues are often forced to buy cheap food that’s low in nutrients and high in calories.

The infographic below has been designed to show how mental health is being affected across multiple demographics.

Cost of living crisis and mental health

Cost of living crisis infographic

RELATED CONTENT:

  1. Symptoms of depression
  2. How to cope with anxiety
  3. Expert guide to being less stressed

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What Are The Symptoms Of Depression? https://mensfitness.co.uk/health/mental-health/what-are-the-symptoms-of-depression/ Mon, 14 Nov 2022 08:39:03 +0000 https://mensfitness.co.uk/?p=12946 Discover the signs and symptoms of depression, plus the best treatment options available

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Discover the signs and symptoms of depression, plus the best treatment options available, with this expert advice from Marc Donovan, chief pharmacist at Boots…

Related: Weight Training In Old Age Can Halve Risk Of An Early Death

A man in a suit and tie standing in front of a pharmacy counter

Marc Donovan, chief pharmacist at Boots

What is depression?

Unlike many physical illnesses, mental health issues cannot always be seen. But that doesn’t mean they’re not there.

It’s totally normal for people to go through periods of feeling down. But if the feelings are interfering with your life and won’t go away after a couple of weeks, then it could be a sign of depression.

Depression can affect people differently, but the symptoms are often the same. It’s important to speak to your GP if youve noticed changes in the way you’re thinking or feeling, and you’re worried about your mental health.  

Related: Weight Training Guide For Men Over 50

What are the signs of depression?

Clinical depression is a continual feeling of sadness for weeks or months at a time, which can affect your work, social and family life.

Symptoms range from mild to severe. They can include feeling hopeless and helpless, having low self-esteem, feeling guilt-ridden, having no motivation or interest in things.

They can also include feeling anxious or worried, having suicidal thoughts or thoughts of harming yourself, as well as avoiding contact with friends and taking part in fewer social activities.

There can be physical symptoms, too, including feeling constantly tired, moving or speaking more slowly than usual. Disturbed sleep, having no appetite or reduced sex drive, as well as various unexplained aches and pains are other signs.

Constipation, lack of energy and changes in weight can also be physical symptoms.  

Related: How To Reduce Your Biological Age And Feel Younger

How can you treat depression?

A combination of lifestyle changes, talking therapies and medicine can help for depression. Getting a treatment plan from a GP will depend on whether you have mild, moderate or severe depression.

Lifestyle changes such as exercise, eating a healthy, balanced diet, cutting down on alcohol and giving up smoking can help.

Sharing your experiences with others and talking about how you are feeling can also make a big difference. Talking therapies including cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) can be used for mild or moderate depression.  

Many people struggle taking that first step to getting professional help. That’s because they don’t know where to turn to first or whether their mental health concerns should be discussed with a healthcare professional.

Anyone who is worried should see their local pharmacist. They can listen to their concerns and signpost to other appropriate healthcare services that may be helpful. Your GP is also there to help with any mental health concerns.

Related: What To Expect During A Prostate Cancer Screening

Boots recently launched a collection of private on-demand digital mental health services that offer patients a range of tools and support that they can access quickly and conveniently. The help, advice and support that can now be found at boots.com includes talking therapy and Boots Online Doctor Depression & Anxiety Treatment*, which offers a GP consultation followed by a tailored treatment and support plan and, if appropriate, prescription medicine.  

*Treatment is subject to an online consultation with a clinician to assess suitability. Subject to availability. Charges apply.  

For ‘convenient care without the hassle’, visit onlinedoctor.boots.com

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Male Infertility: Breaking The Stigma and How To Get Help https://mensfitness.co.uk/health/mental-health/male-infertility-breaking-stigma-how-to-get-help/ Thu, 10 Nov 2022 09:04:07 +0000 https://mensfitness.co.uk/?p=6434 Struggling to conceive can have an enormous effect on men’s mental health – particularly if their own infertility is the issue. MF speaks to some of those affected

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How To Be A Better Male Ally https://mensfitness.co.uk/health/mental-health/how-to-be-better-male-ally/ Thu, 10 Nov 2022 08:54:28 +0000 https://mensfitness.co.uk/?p=6726 “Male allyship is about considering women’s lived experiences... and respecting that it is not just a woman’s responsibility to change the environment that creates barriers”

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Jonny Wilkinson Interview: Stress, Success & Buddhism https://mensfitness.co.uk/health/mental-health/jonny-wilkinson-interview-stress-success-buddhism/ Fri, 05 Aug 2022 12:02:53 +0000 https://mensfitness.co.uk/?p=10349 The biggest name in English rugby, Jonny Wilkinson, reveals how Buddhism helped him find a greater sense of fulfilment.

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The biggest name in English rugby, Jonny Wilkinson, reveals how Buddhism helped him find a greater sense of fulfilment.

Jonny Wilkinson is the player who transcends rugby. His iconic drop goal in the dying minutes of the World Cup final in 2003 ensuring he would forever be remembered as the man who won England the trophy they’d been after for decades.

But that moment, along with countless others – in a career marked by the outward success of four Six Nations championships and two Heineken Cups to go alongside that World Cup winner’s medal – was just part of a wider story. One in which he was battling anxiety and depression despite, from the outside, appearing to have it all.

“It ended up so fairytale-like for me compared to what I could have possibly imagined,” says Wilkinson, who works as a mental health ambassador for health insurer Vitality and has long been a practising Buddhist – something which he has previously said helped him make sense of his own mental health.

“You become attached to [the fairytale],” he adds. “And then it stops. You come out of the flow state into the material, physical experience of the world.”

Jonny Wilkinson on why success doesn’t buy happiness

These attachments to success, says Wilkinson, did little to improve his mental health. Winning could never ease his low mood or sense of constant worry.

He was, he says, only able to start improving his wellbeing by opening up about his feelings and being vulnerable.

“When it becomes a practised habit,” says Wilkinson, “it’s no longer really being vulnerable and opening up. It’s recognising that it’s about facing challenges and understanding why things are there – going deeper and, I think, getting better.”

He says that, while he feels the conversation around mental health is improving, we need to start considering what life looks like beyond those first ‘beautiful’ moments when we tell someone else about how we feel.

“I coped and survived my way through matches, because I put so much of a fear of failure onto myself” – Jonny Wilkinson

“So much of it is about coping and getting through,” he says. “I get that, because I’ve been in that space. But by their very nature, coping and managing, for me, are a survival state.

“It’s actually what I did with so much of my life in terms of my rugby career. I coped and survived my way through matches, because I put so much of a fear of failure [onto myself].”

These techniques became more and more reinforced, however, leading to further anxiety.

So instead, Wilkinson began delving deeper, considering how people believe they need to suffer to succeed, as well as exploring spiritual ways to become more grounded in the present moment. This is where his Buddhism really comes to the fore.

His passion for the topic is every bit as powerful as his urge to win when on the rugby pitch, albeit from a more rounded place and without the need, as he sees it, to become attached to specific achievements and goals.

“Challenge doesn’t come in the form you want it, otherwise it’s just not challenging.” – Jonny Wilkinson

It’s these goals, he says, that we need to get better at understanding:

“If they’re an attempt to fill a hole, or have a lack of connection to self-worth or fulfilment… then it just doesn’t work. It’s almost like you put all your eggs in one basket and say, ‘When I get this, everything’s going to be good.’ Then when you get it, you go, ‘Oh god, what now?’ Then you think, Well, maybe the next one will do, but you already have your evidence [that these kind of goals don’t work].”

This is where Wilkinson believes being more reflective and honest with ourselves is key. “When challenge becomes the understanding of growth,” he says. “that’s opportunity, that’s connecting more with who you really are and connecting more with life. Challenge doesn’t come in the form you want it, otherwise it’s just not challenging.”

Facing up to failure, rather than searching solely for success, is what Wilkinson is driving at:

“If you had a big sports tournament coming up at the end of the year and you said, ‘Right, we’ve got a year to plan our fixtures before that,’ who would you choose to play against? You’d pick the best teams in the world. Some might say, ‘You’re going to lose.’ But that’s the point.

Wilkinson continues with the rugby analogy:

“What we’re actually saying to ourselves is, ‘Give me the 80-nil games, give me those games when everything happens exactly as I wanted, so I don’t have to grow.’

“But then as soon as you sit in that space, the unfulfillment level is huge. The inner voice that says, ‘It’s my nature to expand infinitely and to explore my boundless truth,’ is saying, ‘I’m not OK with this.’

Wilkinson says that even when taking the route of safety and comfort, challenges will still present themselves:

“That challenge will be unrest – enormous unrest. That was how I played my entire rugby career. It was, ‘someone’s trying to take me on, I need to win this. I need to win this battle. I need to win it.’ The problem is, if you win every battle, you don’t go anywhere.

“Losing, and in that way suffering, is still so challenging and so painful and tough, but it’s no longer suffering if you are able to view it with perspective.”

Jonny Wilkinson smiles to camera with arms folded for Men's Fitness interview

Jonny Wilkinson on reframing stress and anxiety

There’s also, says Wilkinson, a need to try and understand that we can positively frame stress and anxiety when facing challenges in life.

“In the Zen Buddhist tradition, [you] pose conundrums with people that take them into a level of anxiety. The whole point being in that space, there is growth, because it’s the shedding of ‘what I had and what was giving me some kind of comfort was essentially stopping my expansion… Do I release it and go into the unknown or do I hold onto it and stay with what I do?’

Wilkinson believes that embracing such challenges is fundamental, but he isn’t naive enough to think it’s easy. Rather, he highlights that our challenges and attempts to understand our lives and mental health are a never-ending processes. Understanding that, he says, has been key for him:

“It’s not a journey because it’s not going anywhere. There’s no destination, it’s an adventure. Life deepens, it doesn’t go linear from here to there… Now is all there is.”

Understanding suffering

Ultimately, what Wilkinson is espousing is a kinder, more gentle approach to life. One which doesn’t put its store in material success or achieving endless goals without really exploring why we’re trying to attain them in the first place. This, again, comes back to suffering, something which in the past he has claimed he felt was essential in order to achieve his goals as a rugby player.

“The idea about suffering, the one that I think is the one that got me [as a player], is not so much that you have to go through it to get what you want, but the idea that getting what you want at the end of it is going to be better than the suffering.

Wilkinson says that he has instead come to accept that what he has gone through, and what we all go through, is part of a deeper exploration of life.

“It’s not my life, it’s life working through me,” he says. “My job is to get out of its way so I can experience the the intuition, the wisdom, inspiration, the creativity, the beauty, the love – all that stuff, which is inclusive and universal.”

To some it may sound a bit out there for a man who became known for his uncompromising and professional focus on the rugby pitch. But staying present and being kinder about who we are, and who we want to be, is an easy and powerful message to get behind.

Jonny Wilkinson was speaking earlier in the year as Mental Health Ambassador for health insurer Vitality as part of Mental Health Awareness Week

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The post Jonny Wilkinson Interview: Stress, Success & Buddhism appeared first on Men's Fitness.

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